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What you need to know about MySpace.com

MySpace.com is a social networking site where teens share interests, gossips, rumor, photos, pictures and even videos with friends, and, potentially, the entire world.  If you have never been to a MySpace page, stop and link to this week's other resources before you read further.  Although children under 14 are supposed to be banned from the site, there is no age verification system in place, and, until this week, none were planned.

This week, MySpace.com and the Attorneys General of 49 states and the District of Columbia (everyone but Texas) reached a landmark settlement in which MySpace agreed to significant steps to better protect children on its web site, including creation of a broad-based task force to explore and develop age and identity verification technology.  Read More

MySpace acknowledged in the agreement the important role of this technology in social networking safety and agreed to find and develop on-line identity authentication tools.  The Attorneys General have advocated age and identity verification, calling it vital to better protect children using social networking sites from on-line sexual predators and inappropriate material.

Other specific changes and policies that MySpace agreed to develop include:  allowing parents to submit their children's email addresses so MySpace can prevent anyone using those addresses from setting up profiles, making the default setting "private" for profiles of 16- and 17-year-olds, promising to respond within 72 hours to inappropriate content complaints and committing more staff and/or resources to review and classify photographs and discussion groups.

While this will eventually make social networking sites "less unsafe" for teens, it by no means is a panacea.  So what does a parent need to worry about?

First, there are predators lurking on MySpace, Facebook, Xanga and any other social networking site, just like there are anyplace where large numbers of children congregate.  In July, 2007 MySpace booted over 29,000 registered sex offenders from its site.  (See eNewsletter Volume 5, Issue 47)  And that's just the ones who used their real names and addresses.  Initially, MySpace even fought efforts by eight Attorneys General to subpoena sex offender information (See eNewsletter Volume 5, Issue 35), although they quickly relented.  (See eNewsletter Volume 5, Issue 36)

There are other potential dangers inherent in a social networking environment.  How your child behaves online is the best predictor of their online safety, just as it is in any other situation a teen faces.

Children need to understand that the Internet is a public forum.  Everything posted there, thanks to sites like  www.waybackmachine.org  (the internet archives), is available for quick view by anyone forever.  Nothing on the internet is truly private, and nothing truly private should ever be posted there.

And parents need to understand that the way children interact with each other has changed dramatically in the last dozen years.  Cell phones, text messages, instant messaging and social networking sites are the "normal" ways teens and tweens interact with each other on a daily basis now.

You not only need to know if your children have social networking sites, you need to visit them regularly. The three big dangers are: your children can meet people they shouldnt meet; will post things for public display that they shouldnt post; and will be exposed to things to which they shouldnt be exposed. Teens sites should be set to private. If you can find them easily, thats a problem. If it is set to private, and your children dont add friends just because theyve requested it, you have somewhat mitigated, but not completely eliminated, the first problem. (People can still get to your childrens sites from friends' sites, but wont see pictures or other things not on their profile pages unless your children add them as friends.)

Everything posted on the site, from blog entries and pictures, to videos and mood descriptions, should be viewed as if they were publicly posted. You and your children should understand that college admission officers and employers will look at MySpace pages. Is there evidence of law breaking (underage drinking for example)? Are there inappropriate pictures? If your children would be embarrassed to have you or their grandparent see anything they posted on MySpace, it shouldnt be there.

The easiest way make that message hit home, is to create your own MySpace page (Billy'sDad42) and comment about things on your child's site.  (To see how to do this, visit http://www.ct.gov/ag/lib/ag/Hot_Topics/myspace.pdf)

The final hurdle, your children being exposed to inappropriate material, is the hardest to cross. Friends will send inappropriate bulletins, pictures and videos, even if your children would rather not have seen a partially naked picture of a classmate they barely know. Just as in life, the key to limiting the risk of exposure to this danger, is to know your childrens online friends as well as you know the ones they meet with IRL (in real life). They are probably the same friends you children see at school, the mall and sports events--and if theyre not, its often because they are filtering the ones they expose you to.

If your teens are like mine, their MySpace and AOLs Instant Messager accounts are open anytime they are home. If you took our previous advice and their computer is an a public area of the home like the kitchen or the family room, you should easily be able to click from one friends site to another to see what is there.

Tonight, ask you children to show you their MySpace, Facebook or other social networking site. Most will happily do it.

Reminder of the week:  Experts often talk about getting to know your childrens friends. It is equally important for you to know their online friends as well. Who is listed on your teens' MySpace pages as top friends and whats on their pages? Visit every one of their sites. Ask questions about friends who you are unfamiliar with. Then go one step further, look at top friends' top friends sites. Is it the same group of friends? Do you see anything troubling on their sites?